My current focus—or is it avoidance?—is to learn how to promote my Pawn Quest series now that the trilogy will soon be completed. Quantum Quest is on its way, but it’s like never knowing exactly when a baby will pop out.
You see? What’s important in my life is also a source of fear and anxiety. Promotion doesn’t come naturally. My mind always returns to a grade school project of selling magazines. I was only willing to approach one next door neighbor (a classmate lived on the other side of us) and my aunt and uncle. The end!
I tell myself that people have reported enjoying my other books. But I bounce between anxiety and avoidance, while I should be deep into research, looking into the best practices that fit my style.
I try to remember gems of wisdom from my therapist:
- “Walking is the Number One Trauma healer.”
- “When disturbed, go for a walk.”
- “The only thing to do is to do it.”
Much of the year felt like it was Moving Too Slow (but not slow enough). My manuscript was in the hands of a copyeditor for months. Then it moved on to my jacket designer, and again time passed. I expect to see the final cover design any day now. Having allowed the slowness should have let me come to terms with the subsequent publicizing. I have made some little progress but that doesn’t erase my desire to turn into a field mouse and hide in a hole in the ground.
The year is now Moving Too Fast, causing me to itch from anxiety. (My mother once told me that’s how her mother reacted to stress .) Year’s end and holidays cloud the picture. It’s been several years since I brought a book to Indie publication. I’m scared I’ll mess up.
Moving Just Right. And there’s no right time to bring out this last book of a trilogy. I need to relax, let it come out when everything has been dealt with. I attended a writers conference over the weekend and though it was exhausting, I felt at home with my people, just as I felt comfortable years ago when attending library school.
I have to keep remembering that. Meanwhile: I’ll keep moving.
One step at a time. Take a Walk.
And enjoy the roses.
